So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
