What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
