I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
