Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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