david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
