His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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