Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
