So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize