allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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