I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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