very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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