just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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