just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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