did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
