Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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