Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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