Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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