So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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