Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We are all done wearing pants today
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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