Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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