There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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