Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
