He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
