you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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