this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I fill condoms, not promises.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
