i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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