is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
