My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
