Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
