Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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