Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i think my mom watched the whole time
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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