i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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