this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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