too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
