i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize