The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
