Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize