i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We had to coat check the pizza.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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