just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
