I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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