If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
