I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
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I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
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Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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