I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
