You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
