grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
