ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Randomize