dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
