For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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