it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You took a bar mat shot.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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