So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
love makes seman taste better
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
