Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
