office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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