sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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