My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
