I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
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just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
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When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize