some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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