I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
