garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
