I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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