And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
