More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
