You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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