She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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